June 16, 2006
How Online Dating Works
How Online Dating Works
You've heard people talking about it. You've probably even seen advertisements for it on television. But for some reason, you haven't yet given online dating a try. Perhaps you're a bit nervous. Perhaps you don't know a lot about computers and the Internet. Perhaps you'll think less of yourself if you try and find companionship using technology rather than your personality. These concerns are understandable, but when you consider that millions of men and women are doing it every day, you've got to think that maybe online dating isn't so bad.
Most of the online dating sites are subscription-based, meaning that you'll have to join before you'll be able to participate. Most often, it will cost money to join, but on some online dating websites, membership is free. The process of joining usually doesn't involve much more than agreeing to the online dating site's terms and conditions and paying the fee, if applicable.
Once you're a member, the next thing you'll need to do is create a profile and a header. Your profile is what other members are going to read and based on your profile, another person should be able to determine whether you sound like someone worth pursuing. An effective profile not only describes you, it also talks about the qualities you're looking for in someone else. Make it unique and be sure to proofread it before posting so you're certain that what it says is really what you want to say. If the site allows members to attach photos to profiles, you'll have to decide if this is something you'll want to do. If so, just follow the instructions to attach it to your profile.
Once your profile is posted, you can sit back and wait for others to start corresponding or you can start checking out other members' profiles. If you find someone who sounds interesting, you can initiate the conversation. Besides corresponding via email and the ability to sort/delete your messages, online dating sites usually offer other activities you can participate in. Some sites offer live (typed) conversations via a site's message board, and some sites host special events. Check both out and see whether those are activities you want to participate in.
Online dating websites offer two really nice features. First, most are open around the clock so you can 'date' when it's convenient for you. And second, new members join all the time so there will always be someone new to check out!
Posted by OnlineDating at 12:29 AM | Comments (0)
June 11, 2006
The First In-Person Date
Your efforts at online dating have finally succeeded in landing you an in-person date. Congratulations! It's understandable if you're feeling a bit nervous. You're about to leave the comfort of your living room or wherever your computer is located and venture into the great outdoors. At this point online dating takes on more of a traditional role.
Where to meet
Many of the issues mentioned above will clear up all by themselves simply by deciding where the two of you will meet on your first date. Dinner and a movie are two common locations for first dates. These are safe choices. But there are many more places you can go on a first date that are just as safe.
One way to help decide on a location is to think about the things you both enjoy. There is a good chance that you've talked about the ways you each like to spend your free time so use that as a starting point. If it's art, check the newspaper for upcoming museum events and spend an afternoon there. If it's sports, make a date to cheer on the local team. If you both love salsa, nothing could be more exhilarating than dancing the night away.
Anyplace that will be mutually enjoyable and where you will be part of a crowd can be a perfect place for a first date. That means it is probably a good idea to avoid going to his/her house for a quiet dinner or hiking that trail you can only get to by foot. Just because you know each other fairly well, you still don't really know the other person, their personality, their quirks or most importantly, their ultimate intentions with you.
Break the silence
You're all dressed up and you've arrived on time at the mutually-agreed upon date destination. Now what? Well unless you want this date to drag on into eternity, you better start communicating. And communication is the key word here because it means both talking AND listening. Ask each other questions, but do what reporters do. Phrase your questions so that you will get more than a yes/no response. Instead of saying, 'Do you like Italian food?' ask, 'Which type of food is your favorite?' See the difference? If you don't do this, you'll find that you both will be struggling to make conversation.
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The key to a successful first date is to relax. Remember, you're just on a date. You're not walking down the aisle – yet!
Posted by OnlineDating at 03:56 PM | Comments (0)
June 09, 2006
How to Succeed at Online Dating
Invest in a paid membership
To really get the most out of online dating, you should invest in a paid membership. Free memberships and trial memberships are good when you are trying to find the online dating service that will best match your needs and goals so once you have found a site you are comfortable with, take the plunge. Think of it as an investment in your future.
Be Honest
Honesty really is the best policy, and so that you don't waste anyone's time, be especially honest about the type of relationship you seek. In addition, you've got to put a concentrated effort into getting what you want. Your ideal relationship isn't going to happen without your assistance.
Write a powerful profile header
It is the best way you have of getting noticed. In the world of online dating, you are one small fish swimming among a sea of thousands of other fish. It takes creativity to get noticed so don't be afraid to try something new.
Select the Right Photograph
Your photo will be looked at even before any of the words you have written about yourself. If you are serious about online dating, consider hiring a professional photographer to capture a few good images on just you – images that will also be current!
Keep the conversation light
Always put on a happy face when you are communicating with someone you've connected with online. You've got to learn how to flirt without the use of your body language. Learn how to make your words evoke laughter. Build up the parts of your life that are interesting. Use the wink emoticon to break the ice.
Use IM and the Phone
When you're ready to take an online relationship further, chatting in real time and even talking on the phone will really become important. If you remember the rules of safety, you don't have to be afraid to venture out of the safe environment of sending and replying to email.
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Don't divulge personal information
Always play it safe because until you meet in person a few times, it's not possible to really know what the person on the other side of your correspondence is really up to. When you correspond, use generalities, not specifics. For example, you might state your occupation, but do not give the name of the company you work for, the branch location or other identifying information and never give out your last name, address, even the town in which you live. It's just not necessary, especially early on.
Posted by OnlineDating at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)
June 08, 2006
How To Flirt Online
Learning How To Flirt Online
Virtually anything you can do in the offline world you can do in the virtual world. And that includes the ability to flirt with those you meet through online dating. A lot of people might not realize this. It is a bit hard to imagine since we've all come to know flirting as being mostly about body language.
When online dating, flirting is an important step for developing interest and for taking a relationship to the next level. It involves so much more than sending a wink to another person, although that is a good way to break the ice and get a conversation going.
From there, it's important that you remain relaxed and natural in your correspondence. The person on the other end will definitely know if you are trying too hard to make conversation, and might be turned off. One tip that can help here is realizing that less is better. You don't need to write lengthy paragraphs. That actually might get boring. A good rule is to keep your correspondence interesting and upbeat while at the same time, brief, 3 maybe 5 sentences. Keep your words playful and positive and you'll be well on your way to mastering the art of flirtation.
If you find yourself stumbling for a conversation starter, you will never fail by noticing something you find interesting in the other person's profile and then asking a question about it. Doing so shows you are taking an interest and showing interest is a definite turn-on. Watch out how you phrase the question, though. If you ask something that requires nothing more than a yes/no answer, don't be surprised if that's all you get!
A Sure-Fire Way to Get a Reply
Before signing off, tell something intriguing about yourself, but don't reveal too much! That way, you've got a better chance the other person will write back because he or she will want to know more. Once that happens, guess what? You've made a potential love connection!
Now you've got to keep the communication going. Remember not to look like you're being too eager. Part of flirting involves playing hard to get. Rather than instantaneously responding to the person with whom you're communicating, make him or her wait a bit for your reply. But not too long – an hour or so, maybe even a day, but not longer. Otherwise the person might think you've simply vaporized. Learning this delicate balancing act is also part of learning to flirt online.
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And finally, go with your gut. If the conversation doesn't seem to be right, don't spend too much time on it. Move on because plenty more opportunities await you!
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:04 PM | Comments (0)
June 04, 2006
The Magic of Online Dating
Let's face it – the Internet has infiltrated our lives. It's the first place many of us go to do our shopping, our banking, our research, and even our socializing. When we sign on to the Internet, we get the information we need just by clicking a few buttons. When you consider the ease and the convenience of the Internet, it's really no surprise that online dating has become such a success.
Online dating is fairly safe, too. You don't have to agree to meet someone you've met online until you are ready. And if you're never ready, that's okay too. You can stop communicating with someone any time you're feeling uncomfortable.
Online dating is relatively inexpensive compared to traditional dating. When you're dating 'online' it's not necessary to spend money on a new outfit or an expensive dinner. However, once you find someone you want to meet 'in person' and you begin dating in the traditional manner, this will definitely change!
Corresponding with prospective mates, which in traditional dating is better known as the 'getting to know each other stage' happens in the comfort of your own home, in the comfort of your pajamas if you choose. The pressure to make a great first impression is off when you date online and for many people, that's quite a stress-reliever.
And most importantly, free time is at a premium. People are tired of the traditional dating scene and all the head games and the rejection that go along with it. When people sign up for online dating, there generally is no mistaking what they are looking for. Relationships begin online and they end online, but online, putting an end to one (and handling rejection when it happens) is much easier!
The Potential Pitfalls of Online Dating
Online dating does have its issues and anyone thinking about dating this way needs to be aware of what they are. Most importantly is the fact that not everyone is who he or she claims to be. It's easy to create an identity online which makes it difficult to confirm what you're being told.
And because it's impossible to really know who you're dealing with, it's never a good idea to give out personal information, even if you've been communicating for a long time.
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Another potential pitfall is that many online dating websites allow their members to post photographs and with all the photo enhancing technologies available today, there really is no way of knowing whether the photo you're looking at is a true representation of the person you're communicating with. That can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how much value you place on looks.
If you've been considering online dating, stop thinking about it and just go do it!
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:29 PM | Comments (0)
May 29, 2006
Should You Post A Photo?
To Post Or Not To Post A Photo
Like it or not, when it comes to online dating, a photo is generally the thing that is going to get a reader's attention. With so many potential candidates to look through, people need some sort of a starting point and many will begin with the way a person looks. Even though you'd like to think that one benefit on online dating is that it gives people a chance to get to know each other before involving looks, this way of thinking really is naïve.
In fact, many members won't even look at profiles that don't have pictures attached. If you're debating whether or not to post your photo, that should be your main concern. You can always post your profile without a photo then wait to see the results you get. If you're satisfied, go ahead and continue without one. If you're not, then get a picture up there fast.
The other downside of posting photos is that sometimes the picture isn't an accurate portrayal. If you keep this in mind, it'll keep you from possibly being disappointed later on when you meet your date in person.
If you decide to post a picture, remember that not just any picture will do. While it isn't necessary to hire a photographer (although many people have done so and have dramatically increased their response rate), you do want to take care in selecting a picture. Of course it should be current. There's nothing worse than finding out when you meet in person that the person is ten years older than the picture on the dating site!
Some online dating sites allow you to post several images - one that will be attached to your profile header and the others visible only after clicking for more information. Always make sure that the main picture is of only you. Don't use a group photo, a photo with you and your sibling, or a photo of you with your pets or your children. Doing so almost always sends the wrong message. You can explain how much you love your pets and/or children later on, after you've begun communicating with someone.
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Finally, make sure the impression you're giving others is the one you want to give. If you dress casually, people will think of you as casual. If you appear all decked out in the latest fashion trends, a different sort of image will be created in readers' minds. If your appearance is one step short of a centerfold shot, you might find you're bombarded with unsavory offers which may or may not be what you're looking for!
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)
