June 16, 2006
How Online Dating Works
How Online Dating Works
You've heard people talking about it. You've probably even seen advertisements for it on television. But for some reason, you haven't yet given online dating a try. Perhaps you're a bit nervous. Perhaps you don't know a lot about computers and the Internet. Perhaps you'll think less of yourself if you try and find companionship using technology rather than your personality. These concerns are understandable, but when you consider that millions of men and women are doing it every day, you've got to think that maybe online dating isn't so bad.
Most of the online dating sites are subscription-based, meaning that you'll have to join before you'll be able to participate. Most often, it will cost money to join, but on some online dating websites, membership is free. The process of joining usually doesn't involve much more than agreeing to the online dating site's terms and conditions and paying the fee, if applicable.
Once you're a member, the next thing you'll need to do is create a profile and a header. Your profile is what other members are going to read and based on your profile, another person should be able to determine whether you sound like someone worth pursuing. An effective profile not only describes you, it also talks about the qualities you're looking for in someone else. Make it unique and be sure to proofread it before posting so you're certain that what it says is really what you want to say. If the site allows members to attach photos to profiles, you'll have to decide if this is something you'll want to do. If so, just follow the instructions to attach it to your profile.
Once your profile is posted, you can sit back and wait for others to start corresponding or you can start checking out other members' profiles. If you find someone who sounds interesting, you can initiate the conversation. Besides corresponding via email and the ability to sort/delete your messages, online dating sites usually offer other activities you can participate in. Some sites offer live (typed) conversations via a site's message board, and some sites host special events. Check both out and see whether those are activities you want to participate in.
Online dating websites offer two really nice features. First, most are open around the clock so you can 'date' when it's convenient for you. And second, new members join all the time so there will always be someone new to check out!
Posted by OnlineDating at 12:29 AM | Comments (0)
June 15, 2006
How to Prepare for Online Dating
How to Prepare for Online Dating
You've been thinking about joining an online dating website but something is keeping you from pushing that JOIN button. Maybe you haven't pushed that button yet because you haven't prepared yourself. If so, then sit back and take a moment to see where you're at with the whole concept of online dating.
Whether or not you see yourself in any of these examples, it's important that you have an idea of what you want to get out of online dating. Knowing these answers will help you write a more effective profile and when your profile reflects your wants and needs, you won't waste time on others who are looking for something entirely different.
Are You Ready to Date Online?
That's the very first question you need to answer. If your heart and your head aren't in this, then don't start yet. You'll waste your time as well as that of other members. And if the online dating site costs money to join, you'll waste your money, too.
Maybe you aren't ready to 'date' but you are ready for companionship. That's an important realization because you will likely find others online who are seeking companionship, too. The interesting thing about companionship, however, is that people differ in their definition of companionship. Dates with no strings attached and even casual one-night-stands are both definitions of 'companionship'. So if you're looking for a shoulder to cry on or someone to play Bingo with, make sure your intentions are clear.
What Qualities do you Seek?
Besides a particular eye and hair color, think about the qualities you are looking for in a mate. Here it's important to think about more than physical attributes. Is your perfect soul mate someone who skis or surfs or who loves to putter in the garden? Can the person be recently divorced or widowed, or would you prefer someone new to the game of love? Is there a limit as to how old of a person you're willing to date or how young for that matter? Should a mate share similar interests or will someone with differing interests better suit your needs?
Define Your Online Dating Goals
Finally, ask yourself about your desired end results of your efforts. Are you looking for a long-term commitment that could ultimately lead to marriage? Do you seek friendship? Will a long-distance relationship be acceptable? Even though you answer all of the above questions, it doesn't mean that your wants can't change as you make your way through the online dating scene. These answers just give you a starting point. After all, your ultimate destination really is all about the journey!
Posted by OnlineDating at 08:32 PM | Comments (0)
June 14, 2006
Speed Dating Unraveled
Is your ideal not just one but many dates all in a single evening? Well that is what you get once you enter into the world of speed dating. As its name implies, speed dating is geared towards meeting a lot of available individuals in a short amount of time – and it's all very legal. In fact, speed dating clubs are springing up all over the world and membership is booming.
As participants are registered, they are given an identification tag that typically lists a number and person's first name and also a score card for recording notes and level of interest. After each round, participants jot down quick notes about the person they've just met before moving on. It's not unusual for a night of speed dating to result in meeting 15 to 25 or 30 new people. Of that number, it's not uncommon to be interested in at least one, but frequently several other speed daters.
Then, usually the next day, participants log onto the speed dating company's website where they indicate the person or persons they'd like to meet again. When there is a match, both parties are notified and they can then use the site's email to communicate and plan future get-togethers.
One of the main advantages of speed dating as compared to online dating is obviously, the fact that you get to meet all these new people in the flesh. You get to see them in person rather than relying on a photo that may or may not be an accurate portrayal of the person. You get to see how a prospective mate operates under pressure and if that person is interesting enough to hold your attention for a short time.
One disadvantage is that although speed dating is growing in popularity, clubs have not ventured too far outside the major cities. It's great if you live in a metropolitan area, but if not, expect to travel to get to these types of meetings. Another disadvantage is these rapid engagements can be nerve-wracking and a person might not always make a good first impression when he or she otherwise would in a different setting. Another disadvantage is the number of members. Online dating websites currently have much higher membership figures than those that specialize in speed dating.
If you're interested in trying today's latest dating trend, it's easy to get started. Just go online and find a speed dating club that will be holding events near where you live and RSVP. You may have to become a member, but some sites allow non-members to participate. They're just charged a higher fee.
Posted by OnlineDating at 03:34 AM | Comments (0)
June 13, 2006
Paid Online Dating Memberships
Free vs. Paid Online Dating Memberships
The one thing that every online dating website has in common is members. That makes sense since these sites are all about meeting other people so without people, the sites don't have much value. As you'll see once you begin checking out the various online dating sites, not all members are created equally. Some will opt for a free membership, others will go all the way and pay for their membership, and others who are still 'on the fence' will find a trial membership their best option.
You'll be able to do this for as long as you like because free memberships don't typically expire. The downside of a free membership is that the services the website operator allows you to participate in generally are pretty limited. You probably won't be able to correspond with someone you find interesting until you become a paid member.
Trial Membership
Many online dating sites offer a trial membership which is actually a full-blown membership that is limited to a certain period of time. Trial memberships are usually free but some sites may charge a nominal fee. With a trial membership, you'll be able to do most everything a paid member is allowed to do such as creating a profile, participating in chat rooms, and corresponding via instant messaging.
Basically you'll be able to push all the buttons and participate in any of the features the site offers. The only real downside to a trial membership is that after the trial period is over, which typically ranges from a week to 10 days, your access will be terminated unless you convert your trial membership into a paid membership.
Paid Membership
A paid membership is going to give you full access to all of the features of the online dating site, unless there is a multi-tier payment option. Assuming there's just one membership fee, with a paid membership, you'll be able to use all the matchmaking services that the site offers, which hopefully will lead you to the mate of your dreams!
Probably one of the biggest benefits of a paid membership is that all channels of communication are open without any usage restrictions. The only real downside of a paid membership is that membership fees aren't always refundable. Your membership typically covers a certain period of time. If you become unhappy with the service, or better yet, if you find someone and you no longer need the services that online dating provides, you may not get your money back. Just be sure you read and understand all the fine print before handing over your credit card number.
Posted by OnlineDating at 03:48 PM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2006
How to Fail at Online Dating
Being too shy
Many people think that online dating is a wonderful way for people who are shy to date. Well guess what? Being shy online will lead to just as many failed attempts at dating as it does in the offline world. If you don't want to fail at online dating, you've got to come out of your shell.
Cutting and pasting your replies
Some people will see through this masked attempt at originality. This type of correspondence is impersonal and if it's all you've got time for, then perhaps you don't really have enough time for dating. If you do this because you're not good with words, then read how others respond to your messages and use these as guides. Nobody likes a form letter, especially when they're looking for romance.
Sounding negative or arrogant
No one wants to talk to someone who is a downer or just the opposite, someone who cannot stop talking about him/herself. Keep your negative experiences to yourself. You're starting anew and there is no need to drag your past into your future. And a successful relationship is a two-way relationship. If you do all the talking, it won't ever develop into anything more than a one-way dead end.
Making overt or borderline sexually harassing comments
Asking questions that are too personal or offering up blunt descriptions of what you think is an almost guaranteed way to scare off your prospective dates. Plus doing so could put your membership in jeopardy.
Lying about your relationship status
You'll get away with this type of lie for some period, but ultimately, always, this type of lie will come back to bite you and it will hurt either you or the person you're involved with.
Lying about your real looks
It's tempting to use photo enhancement tools to make your photo more alluring. Plenty of online daters do this. Or they post a photo that is 10 or so years old. Whether your photo isn't an accurate representation, or whether the words you use to describe your physical appearance are exaggerated, lying about your looks is another reason people fail at online dating.
Corresponding only with the 'Hotties'
You've got just as much chance getting hooked up with the person behind the stunning image as you do if you saw that person at a trendy nightclub – slim to none. That person will be bombarded with email and the chances of finding yours AND finding yours interesting are slim. Get back to reality or online dating will never work for you!
Posted by OnlineDating at 05:54 AM | Comments (0)
June 11, 2006
The First In-Person Date
Your efforts at online dating have finally succeeded in landing you an in-person date. Congratulations! It's understandable if you're feeling a bit nervous. You're about to leave the comfort of your living room or wherever your computer is located and venture into the great outdoors. At this point online dating takes on more of a traditional role.
Where to meet
Many of the issues mentioned above will clear up all by themselves simply by deciding where the two of you will meet on your first date. Dinner and a movie are two common locations for first dates. These are safe choices. But there are many more places you can go on a first date that are just as safe.
One way to help decide on a location is to think about the things you both enjoy. There is a good chance that you've talked about the ways you each like to spend your free time so use that as a starting point. If it's art, check the newspaper for upcoming museum events and spend an afternoon there. If it's sports, make a date to cheer on the local team. If you both love salsa, nothing could be more exhilarating than dancing the night away.
Anyplace that will be mutually enjoyable and where you will be part of a crowd can be a perfect place for a first date. That means it is probably a good idea to avoid going to his/her house for a quiet dinner or hiking that trail you can only get to by foot. Just because you know each other fairly well, you still don't really know the other person, their personality, their quirks or most importantly, their ultimate intentions with you.
Break the silence
You're all dressed up and you've arrived on time at the mutually-agreed upon date destination. Now what? Well unless you want this date to drag on into eternity, you better start communicating. And communication is the key word here because it means both talking AND listening. Ask each other questions, but do what reporters do. Phrase your questions so that you will get more than a yes/no response. Instead of saying, 'Do you like Italian food?' ask, 'Which type of food is your favorite?' See the difference? If you don't do this, you'll find that you both will be struggling to make conversation.
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The key to a successful first date is to relax. Remember, you're just on a date. You're not walking down the aisle – yet!
Posted by OnlineDating at 03:56 PM | Comments (0)
June 10, 2006
Mobile Dating
Mobile Dating - The Newest Way to Meet a Mate
Just when you thought the world of dating couldn't get any more technologically advanced, along comes mobile dating. Online dating brought people together easier than ever before, with those looking for love choosing the Internet rather than the corner bar as their preferred source of potential love matches. Speed dating sped up the process of meeting others. And now, as if custom-designed for today's mobile society, there is a new way to find love and all you need is a cell phone, PDA, or other mobile device and an account with a mobile service provider!
In fact, one of the more established online dating services has taken the leap into this new dating technology and so far it is being well-received. What is making this technology so enticing is the ability to find others within a certain geographical location since one of the ways matches are made is by using zip codes.
While each of the mobile dating agencies operates a bit differently, they're all pretty easy to use. Generally, all you need to subscribe is an email address and an image of yourself, either a video or a photo. Once you have successfully subscribed, you create a profile that tells others about who you are and what you are looking for in a partner (as you would if you were involved with online dating). You then sit back and wait for the mobile dating agency to find suitable matches. As matches are located, you are notified via a text message.
From there, you initiate correspondence using all of the mobile device's text messaging features. Once you send a text message, replies to your messages appear in your Inbox. Sending photos or live videos of yourself is a simple matter of using the capabilities that are built right into your device.
One of the biggest benefits of mobile dating over online dating is convenience. You can 'date' anytime the mood hits. All you have to do is grab your mobile device, login and start flirting with your matches until your fingers get tired! It doesn't matter where you are as long as you're connected to your mobile service.
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One disadvantage is that costs for this type of service could easily spiral out of control. Subscribers select a usage plan when they join and anything beyond what's covered in the plan will be billed as an additional charge. Another big disadvantage is figuring out what the oftentimes cryptic text messaging language really means. This can be frustrating, but as always, the more you practice, the better you get at it!
Posted by OnlineDating at 03:59 PM | Comments (0)
June 09, 2006
How to Succeed at Online Dating
Invest in a paid membership
To really get the most out of online dating, you should invest in a paid membership. Free memberships and trial memberships are good when you are trying to find the online dating service that will best match your needs and goals so once you have found a site you are comfortable with, take the plunge. Think of it as an investment in your future.
Be Honest
Honesty really is the best policy, and so that you don't waste anyone's time, be especially honest about the type of relationship you seek. In addition, you've got to put a concentrated effort into getting what you want. Your ideal relationship isn't going to happen without your assistance.
Write a powerful profile header
It is the best way you have of getting noticed. In the world of online dating, you are one small fish swimming among a sea of thousands of other fish. It takes creativity to get noticed so don't be afraid to try something new.
Select the Right Photograph
Your photo will be looked at even before any of the words you have written about yourself. If you are serious about online dating, consider hiring a professional photographer to capture a few good images on just you – images that will also be current!
Keep the conversation light
Always put on a happy face when you are communicating with someone you've connected with online. You've got to learn how to flirt without the use of your body language. Learn how to make your words evoke laughter. Build up the parts of your life that are interesting. Use the wink emoticon to break the ice.
Use IM and the Phone
When you're ready to take an online relationship further, chatting in real time and even talking on the phone will really become important. If you remember the rules of safety, you don't have to be afraid to venture out of the safe environment of sending and replying to email.
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Don't divulge personal information
Always play it safe because until you meet in person a few times, it's not possible to really know what the person on the other side of your correspondence is really up to. When you correspond, use generalities, not specifics. For example, you might state your occupation, but do not give the name of the company you work for, the branch location or other identifying information and never give out your last name, address, even the town in which you live. It's just not necessary, especially early on.
Posted by OnlineDating at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)
June 08, 2006
How To Flirt Online
Learning How To Flirt Online
Virtually anything you can do in the offline world you can do in the virtual world. And that includes the ability to flirt with those you meet through online dating. A lot of people might not realize this. It is a bit hard to imagine since we've all come to know flirting as being mostly about body language.
When online dating, flirting is an important step for developing interest and for taking a relationship to the next level. It involves so much more than sending a wink to another person, although that is a good way to break the ice and get a conversation going.
From there, it's important that you remain relaxed and natural in your correspondence. The person on the other end will definitely know if you are trying too hard to make conversation, and might be turned off. One tip that can help here is realizing that less is better. You don't need to write lengthy paragraphs. That actually might get boring. A good rule is to keep your correspondence interesting and upbeat while at the same time, brief, 3 maybe 5 sentences. Keep your words playful and positive and you'll be well on your way to mastering the art of flirtation.
If you find yourself stumbling for a conversation starter, you will never fail by noticing something you find interesting in the other person's profile and then asking a question about it. Doing so shows you are taking an interest and showing interest is a definite turn-on. Watch out how you phrase the question, though. If you ask something that requires nothing more than a yes/no answer, don't be surprised if that's all you get!
A Sure-Fire Way to Get a Reply
Before signing off, tell something intriguing about yourself, but don't reveal too much! That way, you've got a better chance the other person will write back because he or she will want to know more. Once that happens, guess what? You've made a potential love connection!
Now you've got to keep the communication going. Remember not to look like you're being too eager. Part of flirting involves playing hard to get. Rather than instantaneously responding to the person with whom you're communicating, make him or her wait a bit for your reply. But not too long – an hour or so, maybe even a day, but not longer. Otherwise the person might think you've simply vaporized. Learning this delicate balancing act is also part of learning to flirt online.
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And finally, go with your gut. If the conversation doesn't seem to be right, don't spend too much time on it. Move on because plenty more opportunities await you!
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:04 PM | Comments (0)
June 07, 2006
Long Distance Relationships
Distance is never an issue with online dating until you get to the point where you are ready to meet in person. Then, how far you live from one another becomes the only thing that really matters. A long distance relationship, known in cyberspace as an LDR, requires a considerable degree of effort regardless of whether it was initiated in the offline world or online.
If money isn't an option, start by figuring out what the other person needs to legally enter the country in which you live. This most likely is a passport or visa, both of which take several weeks to process. The sooner you start coordinating the details, the sooner you'll be able to actually touch one another. That should be all the incentive you need.
For some people, travel is part of their jobs, so you might find yourself in a situation in which the other person can meet with you after he or she meets with a client.
This type of occasional meeting works well for awhile however, when it starts getting to the point where this occasional contact isn't enough, you've both got decisions to make.
Are either of you prepared to move?
This is by far the biggest issue involving long distance romances. Ultimately, in order for the relationship to survive and move to the next level, one of you will have to move. Most people dream of moving to another place, but the logistics of such a move most always get in the way, and moving doesn't usually happen. Ties with family, job, friends, mortgages, and the community are hard to break. That's a lot to give up for a chance at love. The payoffs of this type of gamble can be tremendous, but only if you're the type of person that really could take such a risk.
Is the long distance relationship standing in the way?
For some people, being involved in an LDR becomes a comfortable situation. The relationship fulfills the need to have another person in your life. Sometimes, however, this virtual relationship keeps a person from making a real effort at finding a viable partner. In the end what's really happened is a lot of life has been wasted.
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Can you live for the moment?
Can you really take pleasure in the occasional sighting and the intermittent verbal and written communication? If you cannot live for the moment and enjoy what you have at that moment, a long distance relationship won't ever work for you.
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:07 PM | Comments (0)
June 06, 2006
Rejection And Online Dating
Rejection and the Online Dating World
Will there ever be a 'right' way to reject another? You would think that in the world of online dating, rejection would not hurt as much as being rejected 'in person'. So far however, that has not been shown to be true.
Handling Rejection
If you've been rejected online, rather than spending way too much time dwelling on the subject, try taking a proactive stance. One thing that is certain is that it never is a good idea to repeatedly attempt to make contact with someone who is not responding to your invitation to communicate. If that person is not replying, move on. Continuous contact attempts can be perceived as stalking. You might find your membership cancelled or worse, that your communications are being censored.
If you receive more online rejections than interest, it might be worthwhile to review your profile. You may be coming across as very needy, or not serious about developing a relationship, or perhaps your profile needs more of a positive spin. Take another look at your photo too because it might not be a good representation of you and your features. The photo you post should be of just you otherwise those looking at it may make inaccurate assumptions about who you are.
Being rejected hurts regardless of the scenario, and just as it is when you're trying to make a sale, you'll probably have to hear a lot of 'No' before you get a 'Yes'. So if you think of online dating as a numbers game, realize that the more communication you initiate, the more likely you are to get a higher rate of response.
When You Need to do the Rejecting
Now what happens when the shoe is on the other foot and it is you who needs to do the rejecting? Tread carefully because equally important as what you do say is what you do not say. Regardless of how you approach it, rejecting another is a guaranteed no-win situation. If you send no reply, you're perceived as being rude and having no manners. If you do give a reason, your reason is certain to be scrutinized by the person on the receiving end.
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If you choose to use one of the 'pre-written' rejection responses that many online dating sites are making available, those too don't usually go over so well. The most you can do when you need to reject another is to be honest. You can't control other people, but at least you can feel good knowing you did the right thing.
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:10 PM | Comments (0)
June 05, 2006
Online Dating Sites
Choosing the Right Online Dating Site
Finding the right online dating service is really about finding the site that offers the features that best meet your needs. In a sense, it's going to be the first match you make during your quest for a companion. Here are some issues that may help you choose the perfect online dating site.
Narrow down
In the beginning, online dating was simple. Only a few sites existed. Men signed up. Women signed up. They chatted, agreed to meet in person, and sometimes they even got married! Today, the world of online dating is far different. The most obvious difference between then and now is the sheer number of online dating services that are currently available.
Find an online dating site that caters to the type of mate you're looking for. A lot of people feel better going into online dating with an idea of what it is they are looking to gain from online dating. Perhaps this is good advice for you, too.
For example different online dating sites serve different geographic locations. Some attract members from all over the world, and others restrict membership to certain geographic locations. If you want to broaden your horizons, and don't mind a long distance relationship, then by all means, go global. If you're short on cash (for long-distance travel) and you think that one day you'd actually like to date someone you meet online in person, check out sites with local availability.
Nowadays, you can fine-tune your search criteria even more. Ask yourself if you care that the person you date has the same religious beliefs as you do, is a particular age or between a certain range of ages, has a sexual preference, is already involved in a committed relationship, is of a particular nationality such as Asian, Russian, American, or any of the hundreds of other nationalities that make up the people of this world or any of the many other issues that may or may not be a concern to you. If you look around the Internet long enough, you just might find an online dating site serving the niche you're looking for.
Profile/photo approval process
Some of the sites offer extensive personality profiling and personality testing, both of which are designed to help members zero in on the perfect mates. While very effective, navigating these can be cumbersome and time-consuming, often taking several hours to complete. If you're not comfortable with this level of detail, move on to a site with less profiling. Also check out the rules for posting photos and the amount of time it takes to get photos and profiles approved.
Chat capability/monitored chat rooms
The ability to chat is important as you progress through the online dating cycle. Most paid memberships offer this ability, but check to be certain. But that's not what's important in regards to chat capabilities. Some sites actively monitor the language in the chat rooms and others don't. Unfortunately, those that don't often are filled with crude language and explicit sexual offers.
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Costs
Cost is important, but it isn't necessarily as important as the issues mentioned above. Make sure you understand all that you get for the price of admission. Also check whether there are other costs associated with your membership.
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:22 PM | Comments (0)
June 04, 2006
The Magic of Online Dating
Let's face it – the Internet has infiltrated our lives. It's the first place many of us go to do our shopping, our banking, our research, and even our socializing. When we sign on to the Internet, we get the information we need just by clicking a few buttons. When you consider the ease and the convenience of the Internet, it's really no surprise that online dating has become such a success.
Online dating is fairly safe, too. You don't have to agree to meet someone you've met online until you are ready. And if you're never ready, that's okay too. You can stop communicating with someone any time you're feeling uncomfortable.
Online dating is relatively inexpensive compared to traditional dating. When you're dating 'online' it's not necessary to spend money on a new outfit or an expensive dinner. However, once you find someone you want to meet 'in person' and you begin dating in the traditional manner, this will definitely change!
Corresponding with prospective mates, which in traditional dating is better known as the 'getting to know each other stage' happens in the comfort of your own home, in the comfort of your pajamas if you choose. The pressure to make a great first impression is off when you date online and for many people, that's quite a stress-reliever.
And most importantly, free time is at a premium. People are tired of the traditional dating scene and all the head games and the rejection that go along with it. When people sign up for online dating, there generally is no mistaking what they are looking for. Relationships begin online and they end online, but online, putting an end to one (and handling rejection when it happens) is much easier!
The Potential Pitfalls of Online Dating
Online dating does have its issues and anyone thinking about dating this way needs to be aware of what they are. Most importantly is the fact that not everyone is who he or she claims to be. It's easy to create an identity online which makes it difficult to confirm what you're being told.
And because it's impossible to really know who you're dealing with, it's never a good idea to give out personal information, even if you've been communicating for a long time.
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Another potential pitfall is that many online dating websites allow their members to post photographs and with all the photo enhancing technologies available today, there really is no way of knowing whether the photo you're looking at is a true representation of the person you're communicating with. That can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how much value you place on looks.
If you've been considering online dating, stop thinking about it and just go do it!
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:29 PM | Comments (0)
June 03, 2006
Online Dating Scams And Cheats
Spotting Scams and Cheats When Online Dating
The real world as well as the virtual world is full of scam artists, liars, cheaters, stalkers, and plenty of other types of unsavory characters. Both worlds are also full of honest, reliable, trustworthy, hard-working individuals as well. One of the biggest challenges facing those participating in online dating is learning how to tell the difference. Fortunately there are ways to know when you are being scammed and there are things you can do to protect yourself from becoming a victim.
Inconsistent stories, vague responses
There is a good chance you are being lied to or scammed when the person cannot keep his or her facts straight. Learn how to listen to the words you read and you will learn how to identify inconsistencies. They usually appear in the basic information another offers such as profession, age, marital status, hobbies and interests, even appearance. When someone cannot keep these basic facts straight, that person likely is lying.
Talk on the phone
For your own safety and protection, always arrange to talk on the phone before agreeing to meet in person anyone you have met online. You will get a genuine feel for the person on the other end by doing so. If this person turns out to be the smoothest talker you have ever encountered, that should be a red flag. Also, if the person cannot seem to arrange a convenient time to talk on the phone, this is a bad sign and you should consider ending this relationship.
Asking for money
Anytime someone you are communicating with online asks you for money or for your banking or credit card information or any other thing having to do with your personal finances, you are being set up to be scammed. Contrary to what people think, even the brightest, most worldly individuals have fallen victim to this type of scam. Even if you are being given the saddest, most unfortunate or dire story about why the other person needs your financial assistance, it is most likely a lie. It is in your best interest to stop all communication immediately, and this person should be reported, even if doing so makes you feel uncomfortable.
Keep personal information personal
The more personal information you give out during your online communications, the more you increase your chances of being victimized. Don't divulge your hometown, name of employer, last name, phone number, real email address, home address, nothing. If another person keeps insisting on this type of information from you, it's time to move on.
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:27 PM | Comments (0)
June 02, 2006
Dating Safety Tips
Dating Safety Tips For All Ages
When you are dating, safety is an extremely important consideration. These days, being safe literally could mean the difference between life and death. No matter what your age, you are never too old to follow these dating safety measures.
Meet somewhere safe
Always agree to meet in a public location at a time when the public will be present. In the beginning, rarely is it a good idea to be alone with your date, or worse in a secluded location.
Arrange your own transportation
Drive yourself to and from the location of the first date. If you don't drive, ask a friend to drive you, take a cab or take public transportation. When you allow your date to drive you around you can lose control of the situation. Plus, if he/she picks you up from home, he/she will know where you live. If during the course of the date, the two of you agree to change locations, take your car to the new location. If you don't drive, then you should stay where you are.
Tell someone where you are
This is for your protection, not to make you feel like a child. Tell a close friend, coworker, parent, neighbor or other person the name of the person you are meeting, that person's contact information, the place you're planning to meet, and the approximate time you expect to return home. That way, if things go bad, someone will know to contact authorities and what to tell them.
Limit alcohol
Drinking excessively or doing other types of drugs is not a good idea on a first date because these types of activities can impair your judgment. You'll have plenty of other opportunities to indulge so just wait until another time. Besides you wouldn't want to make the wrong impression.
Make your own travel plans
If the first date will take place somewhere where you'll need to arrange for travel and/or a hotel room, always make these types of arrangements on your own. Once they are made, don't share this information with your date. Contact your date after you arrive to firm up the rest of your plans. And as stated above, travel to and from the location on your own and, especially when you travel out of town, make sure there is someone close to you who knows all of your trip details.
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Use your judgment - While you're on your date, tune in to your instincts. They'll know if the date isn't going right so pay attention. If you need another opinion, excuse yourself and call someone you trust and with whom you can discuss your feelings. Contact the authorities if you think it is appropriate. You can feel like a fool later on, but that's a lot better than possibly becoming a statistic.
Carry your cell phone
And make sure the battery is charged. Enough said about that.
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:32 PM | Comments (0)
June 01, 2006
Your Online Dating Profile
When Your Online Profile Isn't Attracting the Right Kind of Attention
Getting started with online dating is exciting. You sign up, answer all the personality questions, and create a personal ad that you think makes you sound very desirable. You let your personal ad loose into cyberspace, cross your fingers, and you get ready for the best dating you've ever had.
You can cower in the corner and convince yourself you must really be a loser if you cannot manage to generate interest virtually. Or, you can rewrite your personal ad and try again. Advertisers do this all the time when they test different versions of an advertisement in an effort to determine which one is generating the best response.
When you are creating a personal ad, it should highlight your attributes as well as your strengths. It should also be organized and free of obvious typographical and grammar mistakes. A good way to begin the process of rewriting a personal ad is to break the ad down into a couple different categories and then fill in the details. All you're really doing is creating an outline, just like you used to do back in school.
The categories to cover include a description of your physical attributes and background, a section describing your interests and hobbies, and most importantly a section devoted to describing both the type of relationship you seek and the type of partner you seek.
As you begin filling in the details, keep the following in mind. First, always be honest in your descriptions. If you expect honesty from others, you've got to be honest yourself. Always be positive as well. Just think about the daily conversations you have with those around you. Aren't you turned off by the people who dwell on all the negative things that go on in their lives? Those unfortunate victims who never get a fair chance at life? Those left bitter from past relationships with family or loved ones?
You are and that is normal. If your personal ad sounds more negative than positive, you can be certain that those reading it are going to pass on the opportunity to find out more about you. They don't want to share your misery. Even mentioning what you are not looking for from a partner is negative. If you've included this type of information in your profile, remove it. Give this section a positive spin by focusing on the qualities you seek in another, instead.
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Finally remember that your profile is a marketing piece, not a laundry list. Focus on a few things in life that make you and then elaborate on those. The more interesting what you write sounds, the more interesting you sound. So get out there and try again!
Posted by OnlineDating at 04:35 PM | Comments (0)
