Online Dating Service Secrets

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May 31, 2006

Creating Your Profile

Creating a Profile That Will Be Noticed

'Single white female, 27, loves cats, white wine, and strolling on the beach.'

You may think this says a lot about you, but when you're one of hundreds or thousands of potential candidates in the expansive world of online dating, a profile such as this won't attract much attention. It's bland, boring and outdated. Those who do happen to read this profile might think its author too is bland, boring and outdated. They'll move on without ever looking back.

Quality Counts more than Quantity - If you want other online daters to notice you, the profile you create needs to be unique, captivating, positive, honest, and even a bit funny. Your photo will draw some amount of attention, but what others really want is to know about the person behind the image. The only way they can do so is by reading what you have written about who you are.

When you create a profile, it's not necessarily how much you write that matters. Less can be more and when people are scanning hundreds of profiles, less is often better. One way to think about your profile is that it is in a sense a marketing tool and you are the product being marketed.

Market Yourself

To begin, your profile needs to grab the reader's attention. The best way to accomplish this is by writing a catchy opening. Make it interesting and intriguing because the goal here is to make the reader want to continue past the introduction. Short sentences work best.

From there, go on to list your benefits, which in a profile are your attributes, likes and dislikes, and your goals. Listing your vitals, things like your height, weight, build and perhaps your profession helps the reader create an image of you.

Next, focus on describing your personality. This involves mentioning the things you enjoy doing in your spare time, your goals and aspirations, where you've lived, the things that make you smile, and what you are looking for in a companion. Remember to sound positive because mentioning all the bad things that have happened to you is a real turn off.

Sounds like a lot to write and it can be. So what happens when writing isn't one of your strengths? Fortunately many of the online dating sites offer assistance with profile creation. Some use templates where you just fill in the blanks. Another effective approach is to study the profiles that catch your attention. Look at how they're written, the words being used, the message being conveyed. Use these as models for your own profile.

It's always a good idea to create a rough draft of your profile in a word processor where misspellings and grammar errors can be identified and corrected. When you've finished, put your profile aside for a day or so, then reread it to make sure it conveys the right image. When you're happy with what you've written, transfer it to your online profile. Revisit the profile from time to time and make changes as necessary.

Posted by OnlineDating at 06:38 AM | Comments (0)

May 30, 2006

Sending eMail

Sending That All-Important First Email

You've joined up with an online dating site. You've spent hours agonizing over your profile. You've gone through countless pictures looking for that perfect one to post. And finally, you are ready for some dating action. You think the hard parts of online dating are over, but for some people, the difficulties are just beginning.

You've got mail! It's time to communicate! - The realization that someone (or several people) has come across your profile and now wants to initiate a conversation with you can make even the boldest person want to click the Logout button! But before you do, take a deep breath. Unlike traditional dating, if you start the conversation off on the wrong foot, you don't have to sit through the remainder of a long, agonizing date.

If you say the wrong thing to someone and he/she never responds back, you haven't really lost anything. One thing you can be almost guaranteed of with online dating is that soon enough someone else will be sending you email. You'll just have to try again. And again. And possibly even again. Big deal!

There are ways to successfully make it past that initial message. Much of the success will be in the delivery. With traditional dating, when two people meet for the first time in person they do much of the communicating with body language. They engage each others' eyes, they sit a bit closer together, they flick their hair, and they giggle a lot. Basically if there is chemistry, the couple flirts like crazy!

Flirting is an art and not everybody is good at it. When you're communicating online, being able to flirt while being engaging is what is going to get you to the next round. When body language isn't possible, as is the case with online dating, how does one flirt? Flirting online has to do a lot with what you write and how you write it.

But what do you write? One of the best and easiest ways to break the ice is to talk about something you've read in the person's profile. This sends the message that you're interested too, because it means you've taken time to read that person's profile. Your question can be about practically anything: the person's job, schooling, family, entertainment preferences, hobbies, or whatever. There aren't any rules. Just don't come across as boring, arrogant, or uninterested (unless you are in which case, don't reply at all).

At this point in the online dating game, sending a brief note is adequate, especially if you've got many emails to reply to. Keep the communication lighthearted and positive. Try to add in a sentence about yourself that the other person will find intriguing. Remember, you're supposed to be flirting. And before you sign off, ask a question to increase your chances that you'll get a reply back.

Posted by OnlineDating at 04:41 PM | Comments (0)

May 29, 2006

Should You Post A Photo?

To Post Or Not To Post A Photo

Like it or not, when it comes to online dating, a photo is generally the thing that is going to get a reader's attention. With so many potential candidates to look through, people need some sort of a starting point and many will begin with the way a person looks. Even though you'd like to think that one benefit on online dating is that it gives people a chance to get to know each other before involving looks, this way of thinking really is naïve.

Most online dating services allow members to attach photos to their profiles. This is generally an optional feature and members don't have to do so if they don't want. Some people are leery of the Internet and don't want their picture being viewed by others they don't know. That's fine but just keep in mind that many people involved with dating, online or otherwise, are going to judge a person first by their appearance.

In fact, many members won't even look at profiles that don't have pictures attached. If you're debating whether or not to post your photo, that should be your main concern. You can always post your profile without a photo then wait to see the results you get. If you're satisfied, go ahead and continue without one. If you're not, then get a picture up there fast.

The other downside of posting photos is that sometimes the picture isn't an accurate portrayal. If you keep this in mind, it'll keep you from possibly being disappointed later on when you meet your date in person.

If you decide to post a picture, remember that not just any picture will do. While it isn't necessary to hire a photographer (although many people have done so and have dramatically increased their response rate), you do want to take care in selecting a picture. Of course it should be current. There's nothing worse than finding out when you meet in person that the person is ten years older than the picture on the dating site!

Some online dating sites allow you to post several images - one that will be attached to your profile header and the others visible only after clicking for more information. Always make sure that the main picture is of only you. Don't use a group photo, a photo with you and your sibling, or a photo of you with your pets or your children. Doing so almost always sends the wrong message. You can explain how much you love your pets and/or children later on, after you've begun communicating with someone.

Finally, make sure the impression you're giving others is the one you want to give. If you dress casually, people will think of you as casual. If you appear all decked out in the latest fashion trends, a different sort of image will be created in readers' minds. If your appearance is one step short of a centerfold shot, you might find you're bombarded with unsavory offers which may or may not be what you're looking for!

Posted by OnlineDating at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)